Kind Living

How about giving a little less f*ck?!

Book review - none of the content of this post is sponsored

Hi dear followers,

Hope you are doing very well today! In this blog post, I like to give a review on a book I recently finished reading: ‘The Life-Changing Magic of Not Giving a F**k?’ by Sarah Knight. In this blog post I will highlight my biggest lessons, maybe you can learn from them too;-) As Sarah describes: ‘The surprising art of caring less and getting more.” I personally am in need of that. Aiming to give a little less f**k about some things.

The Book

I ordered this book online through Bol.com, which is a similar webshop to Amazon. As many people have read the ‘male’ version of this topic “The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck” by Mark Manson. I got excited after Josefin Dahlberg (my biggest inspiration) recommended this more female version by Sarah Knight. I got a paperback, something I chose on purpose in order to carry it along with me on my holiday. And so I did! I brought the book with me to Belize & Mexico. But if you like, there’s an E-book and a hardcover available as well here.

Love reading Sarah’s book on Isla Holbox

The book is written by Sarah Knight and she got inspired by Marie Kondo and her ‘tidying up’ theory. The way Marie declutters here life through her home works almost addictive for Sarah and she decides to mentally declutter her life with the same ‘rules.’ She adjusts decluttering into four sections and three categories and starts decluttering topics and ‘give-fucks’ in life. The author gives you easy tips and ideas to walk you through the process of decluttering. I love her examples, it makes it realistic and measurable. Next to that, she explains how this magical trick changes your life. My first tip: read the last section in the beginning AND the end, to keep yourself inspired.

Her book works with four sections: Things, Work, Friends and Family. In this order, she leads you through different topics and situations coming from each section. She makes you look at the situations from a different perspective and makes you realize how you think of it (do you give a fuck, or not?). It is very easy and understandable and fun. It makes you emphasize your opinion about so many more topics. This will leave you more confident en calmer, knowing yourself better and finding out what you truly love.

I brought the magical book to Belize

Your give-a-fuck-budget (brilliant!)

Each section works with two categories: Give-a-fucks and not-give-a-fucks. But in order to stay away from a very black and white situation, she establishes the give-a-fuck budget. The give-a-fuck budget means you can care about some things for a little while or a certain moment, while you usually don’t care about. This is kind of the exception section, but its a tight budget. This means you can’t make exceptions for everything and especially not for every one. This budget is ideal and makes this book even more practical and realistic.

How I work with it

To be honest, I got this book because I needed a clean-up. I really care a lot about a lot, which is taking most of my time and I feel a bit overwhelmed at times. Overwhelmed and conscious about the fact I care, but also insecure whether I care enough and spend my time and attention to what I really matters to me. I am ambitious of so many things, cleaning it up will keep me ambitious in the things that I truly care about.

I used the book in a very practical manner. I read the first chapter and then started my decluttering process. I got myself a notebook along reading the book and made multiple lists of the categories and ‘giving-a-fuck’ as well as ‘not-giving-a-fuck.’ Some lists got filled very easily, some of them were a bit hard.

The first section, Things, is the easiest to go through, and the last section, Family, is definitely the hardest to make up your mind about. I had a tough time going through the chapters of both Friends & Family as I care about them a lot. But this book is practical, so I made my lists – laid it aside multiple times – and continued adding ‘fucks’ and ‘not-fucks’ every time I thought of something new.

What I learned while reading the book, is that you can only fill the lists if you are able to go through multiple situations in your work, family or group of friends. During my holidays when I read the book, I couldn’t always make my mind up about the different situations at home or didn’t want to think about work for instance. Therefore I decided to take it slow in reading this book, filling my lists more and more at home and throughout the months that followed. That way, my idea of what I care about became much clearer over time. So use this book as a practical handbook and don’t rush reading through. really practice this!

What I love about Sarah’s book is her examples on how to socially act on your ‘not-give-a-fucks.’ She explains the best excuses and the easiest ways to turn down invitations, meetings, social talks etcetera.

Nowadays, I look at my lists every now and then. Sometimes it reminds me of my values and sometimes I add something. I like to read through the book again every now and then, focussing on the last chapter – how it magically changes your life if you adjust this theory – and on the great explanations and excuses Sarah has for every situation. I truly love that part, understanding the best way to turn awkward moemnts of excuse into confident momets of stepping up.

Why the theory of this book is magical?

Because it makes you realize to really care about your carings! Spend your time, money and energy wisely. Because otherwise you will run out of it spending it on thing you don’t-give-a-fuck about.

I regularly follow up on the book at home

Lessons to live by

  • Quitting your job is the ultimate ‘not-giving-a-fuck’
  • Create personal policies: this way you can turn down many things you don’t like – because it is your life-policy. Examples are no-karaoke, no-breakfast-meetings, no-loans or no-second-wedding-bachelorettes.
  • It’s perfectly fine to not care about your co-workers kids
  • Not-giving-a-fuck about kissing asses: Do your job well and there should be no need to kiss anyone’s ass.
  • If you don’t give-a-fuck about the drama in the lives of your Facebook friends – unfollow is the way to go! Same goes for Instagram.
  • Sometimes it’s ok to hurts someone’s feelings to make your point of not-give-a-fuck (this doesn’t count on friends or family)
  • It’s totally ok to not give a f**k about religious and political differences in your family. Skip this topic at all times.

Curious about my personal not-give-a-fucks? Leave me comment below and I will tell you mine!

I hope to inspire you to really care about your carings! Spend your time, money and energy wisely.

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